A Christmas poem

  And so Happy Christmas…


Oh won’t it be fun

when the family comes

for Christmas?

There’s Aunty Beth

who’s arrived in a mess

and every decision is double the trouble

which triples the bills

of all of the other

aunties and sisters and cousins and brothers

and won’t it be fun

when the family comes

for Christmas?

We’ll play charades

that’s for sure

remember last year

and the broken screen door?

Well that was a sister in a blistering rage

taking sides

calling a shovel a spade

oh won’t it be lovely

won’t it be fun

when the family comes

for Christmas.

Now the little one loves it

for her it’s such fun

dollies galore and pink by the ton

she doesn’t quite it

the sub-text that’s there

the background flow of old treasons and reasons

the confusions of family that are not always clear

but maybe that’s why she cries on the stair

sucking her thumb and stroking her bear

oh it’s always such fun

when the family comes

for Christmas.

There’s Uncle of course

who once was a banker

but something snapped and now,

well, he’s a wanker

with signs that are rising

and crystals aspiring

to make his life better

which is all very well

might even be swell

if it wasn’t for wifey

who’s feeling quite knifey

and has only just found

that the spiritual epiphany

that’s become quite the litany

is due to the presence of a Dutch supermodel

and not, as she thought, a bunch of old twaddle

oh isn’t it fun when the relatives come

to stay in the house at Christmas?

As for my steps

and the half-baked attempts

to pretend we’re all jolly

it’s way beyond me

I’ve gone off my trolley

the passive-aggression of the visiting drunk

who blows smoke in our eyes

while we’re eating our lunch

what can she see in him…

we all crowd around

can’t she tell he’s a bounder

a rat and a cad

no doubt about it, thoroughly bad

staying for days –

how delightful we cry

filling the house with emotional haze

saving the break-up

which inevitably comes

to have here at Dad’s

why not at Mum’s?

Oh isn’t it jolly

isn’t it fun

isn’t it lovely

when the family all comes

for Christmas!

Copyright Candida Baker 2011

2 thoughts on “A Christmas poem

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